Trust ....

There have been many, many occasions over the past week that my mind has drifted to my potential score on the LSAT. It has caused a lot of anxiety and every time I do start to think about it, 3 words come into my head - "Trust in Him". I have to admit that trust has never been easy for me and, while I know that God is in complete control, I feel as if I just keep taking this back. I don't want to and feel that that's exactly what my anxiety is - me NOT trusting in Him. Yep, this is the paradox - I know God is in control but trusting means giving up complete control and surrendering myself and the future. We all know I am a control freak, but I realize that I can't have it both ways. So, how do I get there from here? I don't know, but I know that I need to rely on those three words, "Trust in Him" and less on myself. I found these 2 verses:

Romans 15
13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Psalms 91
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

I've needed to pick up all my study materials. Part of me has been terrified to do so because I think, "What if I have to bring it back out to study for October." But you know what? That's not showing trust. That is showing fear and the control it has on me. In a baby step, I did pick up all my practice tests, score sheets, notepads, books and information relating to the test and packed them in a box, put the lid on it and placed it in the office closet. I am claiming that I will NOT have to look at it again! So, as I go on this crazy journey, I will trust in Him and give over control of my future and law school. And yes, it will be difficult, but isn't anything worth doing and having always difficult?